HMS_Yowling (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} hms_yowling) wrote,@ 2003-07-07 12:41:00 |
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A Longing for Something
I wrote this to amuse myself and a few friends. Not to be taken as an indication of anything other than my dubious sense of humor, and my irritation at Clark. Er, and my desire for stories featuring Snape and just-about-anyone.
He'd thought it strange when he'd heard a tapping noise on the French doors that led out to the balcony. The Forum was the tallest hotel in London and he really didn't see how the noise could be made by anything other than an unusually enterprising pigeon. Or Clark, his traitorous mind had whispered.
Lex had sighed and taken another slug of whiskey as he moved forward to pull back the curtains, only to reveal... An owl. A large owl. A barn owl, he thought. A barn owl that was, moreover, staring at him insistently as it hovered, tapping its beak repeatedly on the glass. Shrugging his shoulders, he opened the door, and the owl had fluttered in to land on the coffee table, proferring its leg to Lex. And Lex, no longer even vaguely confounded by the strangeness the universe served up -- although, granted, usually only within the confines of Smallville -- unwound a message from its leg. A message that invited him to attend remedial classes at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
At the time, his only thought had been that someone in London had a strange sense of humor. And yet, here he was, sitting in a chair amid a gaggle of staring children with a floppy hat perched on his head. A hat that, moreover, not only sang, but seemed to be able to poke around in his brain. Right now it was muttering, "Intelligent enough for Ravenclaw, no doubt, and with a reserve of almost-Gryffindor-like courage, hmm, hmmm, -- but, yes, curiousity, cunning, oh yes, Slytherin." But Lex negated that with a shake of his head -- he'd been educated according to Lionel's principles and the word Slytherin seemed to embody them. Enough was enough.
He'd come to London to get away from Smallville, from his father, from *everything*. A *complete* change of pace. "What's the other house?" he thought at the hat. "There are four, based on the banners I'm seeing." An eagle, a lion (another reminder of his father), a snake, and... what was that thing? A hedgehog? A badger?
That hat fell silent. "Hufflepuff?" it at last said questioningly.
The name Hufflepuff filled Lex with glee -- his father would never live down the idea of his son as a Hufflepuff, whatever that might be. "Put me in Hufflepuff," he said commandingly.
The hat seemed stunned.
Lex considered his request again. The Hufflepuffs were not courageous, not smart, not cunning. What did that leave? He glanced around the hall, his gaze finally falling on the troupe of open-faced, happy-eyed, not-particularly-bright looking students sitting beneath the banner with the badger.
"I'd very much like to be in Hufflepuff, if you wouldn't mind, sir," Lex thought at the hat.
The hat suddenly emitted what sounded like a snicker. "Well, that will set the cat among the pigeons, won't it. Well, if you're sure, boy." But without waiting for Lex's answer it roared, "HUFFLEPUFF!" Lex clapped his hands to his ears. It did no good since the echo was now reverbrating inside his brain.
With grace, Lex removed the hat from his head, set it down on the stool, and walked calmly to the Hufflepuff table. Smiling sweetly at the now nervous-looking children, he slid into place on the end of the bench, and wondered when... whether... this hallucination would ever end.
--------------
Just to be clear, this is a one-off.
I wrote this to amuse myself and a few friends. Not to be taken as an indication of anything other than my dubious sense of humor, and my irritation at Clark. Er, and my desire for stories featuring Snape and just-about-anyone.
He'd thought it strange when he'd heard a tapping noise on the French doors that led out to the balcony. The Forum was the tallest hotel in London and he really didn't see how the noise could be made by anything other than an unusually enterprising pigeon. Or Clark, his traitorous mind had whispered.
Lex had sighed and taken another slug of whiskey as he moved forward to pull back the curtains, only to reveal... An owl. A large owl. A barn owl, he thought. A barn owl that was, moreover, staring at him insistently as it hovered, tapping its beak repeatedly on the glass. Shrugging his shoulders, he opened the door, and the owl had fluttered in to land on the coffee table, proferring its leg to Lex. And Lex, no longer even vaguely confounded by the strangeness the universe served up -- although, granted, usually only within the confines of Smallville -- unwound a message from its leg. A message that invited him to attend remedial classes at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
At the time, his only thought had been that someone in London had a strange sense of humor. And yet, here he was, sitting in a chair amid a gaggle of staring children with a floppy hat perched on his head. A hat that, moreover, not only sang, but seemed to be able to poke around in his brain. Right now it was muttering, "Intelligent enough for Ravenclaw, no doubt, and with a reserve of almost-Gryffindor-like courage, hmm, hmmm, -- but, yes, curiousity, cunning, oh yes, Slytherin." But Lex negated that with a shake of his head -- he'd been educated according to Lionel's principles and the word Slytherin seemed to embody them. Enough was enough.
He'd come to London to get away from Smallville, from his father, from *everything*. A *complete* change of pace. "What's the other house?" he thought at the hat. "There are four, based on the banners I'm seeing." An eagle, a lion (another reminder of his father), a snake, and... what was that thing? A hedgehog? A badger?
That hat fell silent. "Hufflepuff?" it at last said questioningly.
The name Hufflepuff filled Lex with glee -- his father would never live down the idea of his son as a Hufflepuff, whatever that might be. "Put me in Hufflepuff," he said commandingly.
The hat seemed stunned.
Lex considered his request again. The Hufflepuffs were not courageous, not smart, not cunning. What did that leave? He glanced around the hall, his gaze finally falling on the troupe of open-faced, happy-eyed, not-particularly-bright looking students sitting beneath the banner with the badger.
"I'd very much like to be in Hufflepuff, if you wouldn't mind, sir," Lex thought at the hat.
The hat suddenly emitted what sounded like a snicker. "Well, that will set the cat among the pigeons, won't it. Well, if you're sure, boy." But without waiting for Lex's answer it roared, "HUFFLEPUFF!" Lex clapped his hands to his ears. It did no good since the echo was now reverbrating inside his brain.
With grace, Lex removed the hat from his head, set it down on the stool, and walked calmly to the Hufflepuff table. Smiling sweetly at the now nervous-looking children, he slid into place on the end of the bench, and wondered when... whether... this hallucination would ever end.
--------------
Just to be clear, this is a one-off.
